Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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