So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
