i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
