I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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