I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
