i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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