FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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