I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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