honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?