my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice