More tranny stories later!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?