just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize