Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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