I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
