He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
