So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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