The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
