god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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