Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
