States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
They are going to name an STD after you.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
