I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize