I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
