I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize