hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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