i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
