that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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