Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
