finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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