College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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