my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
