Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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