just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
FUCK WHALES
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
