dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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