your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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