Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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