You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
