I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
