fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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