He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I checked into jail on foursquare
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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