oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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