i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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