what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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