I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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