i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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