Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
