...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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