i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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