woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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