You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
