It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
