Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
