I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize