Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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