Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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