C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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