Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish i was in the wii world.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
