North Korea, Best Korea!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
