Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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