he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
